User blog:Dewface/Mossflower raido talk show 1
Introduction Hello everybeast! I am the mighty Dewface and I am hosting a jolly celebrity talk show about animals who have made a mark in Redwall history! We will have gust stars and you may also contact me on my bally user page if you want to be a gust star, enjoy the show! Spoiler warning: read with care if you have not read: Triss One "Hello chaps and chapesses! I am Dewface, the hairmaid everybeasts heard about! Today are our guests will be:Trisscar swordmaid, Grumm, Abbot Mortimor, and the legendary Asmoudeus!" applause Triss:"Hi everybeast! Oh come on! You don't have to applaud!" Asmoudeus:"Hello everybeassssst, ssssso nice to eat you!" Grumm:"Hello! Hurr! Oi beez gurtly plezed to see you'm" Abbot:"Oh hello Asmodeus! We're from the same book!" faids Dewface:"How nice to see you everybeast wot!" Asmoudeus:"You, sssssquerral! You have my sssssword!" Dewface:"awww! Don't cry big snakything! It- Asmoudeus:"How dare you sssspeak to me like that bunny! I will eat you!" draws sword Triss:"You wouldent dare! I've slain snakes before worm!" END OF SPOILER hides from Asmoudues Grumm:"Now now dawnt ee fret 'bot Moretemore!" attacks Triss Dewface:"er, security! Comertail break!" Do you need to cross a river? Or travle by boat but dont have one? Logalog Jango is here to help! He'll take you across any river with a low cost of 5.95 an hour! (wait, we don't have a currancy, oh well) Or for crossing, 50 cents a cross. (wait...) call 1-800-logalog (we dont have phones either!) Dewface:"Ok, we've calmed thinks down a bit wotwot! is tied to his oversized chair Asmoudeus:"Let me free and I will sssshow you never to insult a ssssnake!!" scoots her chair away from Asmoudeus Grumm:"naow, can we'm get on wiv 'et?" Dewface:"Oh yes, now, Triss, what's it jolly well like to be a hero?" Triss:"Oh, very fun- i mean..." Mortimor:"And very fun to slay i suppose?" Triss:"Hey!! You, You! Dewface:"Let's not get into this now!" rings Dewface:"Hey! I never knew we had flippn phones!" Triss:"Just pick up the phone! Dewface:"Ok ok!!" picks up the phone and presses speeker button Dewface:"Hello?" Diggs:"Hi old fellow! Its Me, Diggs, youve heard of me before, right? wot wot!" Dewface:"No, I'm sorry old bean, I havent." Diggs:"Hmph! well thats nice, cant even think about a chap. Anywase, I came to ask how you stay so thin wot!" Dewface:"Oh, well er, I guss i just have a fast Motablizum." Diggs:"Oh, well, nothing i can help. Hmph!" Abbot Mortimor:"Dewface! That was very unmannerful! Especaily beacuse we are on a talk show!" Diggs:"Good bye!" hangs up rings again Grumm:"Ho oi! W'em beeze gotten anoter phone call!" picks up phone and presses speaker button Grumm:"'ello?" Randome Redwall mouse:"Oh hello, This dosent sound like Skipper." Grumm:"Skipper? Ho nay, this beez ee mossflower rado talk show." Randome Redwall mouse:"Oops! Rong number! Sorry! hangs up Triss:"Hmph, that was nice." Dewface:"Oh, lets see, time for a jolly comertail break!" Asmoudeus:"Hey, don't take that lassssst doughnut moussssse!" Do you need refuge from storms? Abbot Mortimor is here selling tents! $10.00 a tent! Made from canvis, and is coated with water-proof oil, lasts for seasons and has a four season warrantee! call 1-800-626-tent Dewface:"Lets see, we need a phone call here." rings Dewface:"Oh, lets see, wheres the phone? Asmoudeus! tisk tisk, thats just jolly well rude, you swallowed the flam'n thing!" Asmodeus:"Oh well, I gusssss you'll have to buy a new one." Dewface:"You mean you'll have two buy a new one, wot! I guss we have to end the show, bye!" Applause leaves the stage Two Hello everybeast!! The guststars today will be:Thornclaw Braveheart, Gabool the wild, Abom, Keenear the brave, and Skalarana!! applause walks in Gabool the wild:"Ha, you were fools to let me in with my weapons!!" Abom:"I'll dule you to the death Gabool for the radio room!" Dewface:"Oh yeah? I have Martin the worrior for my sicurity, so you two better straghten up!" Keenear:"Yeah, the bunnys right, and don't forget to act your age." Thornclaw:"Your one to talk, bossy!" Skalarana:"EVERYBEAST QUIET!!!!" faids is quiet Skalarana:"Martin the worrior is right outside that curtain, and he can tan the hides off of all of us at once!! So you all will get a grip and take a chill pill!!" creeps up on Gabool Martin:"Yes, the rat is right, and next time I'm going to be on the show." Gabool:"Ok, anything if you wont shed my blood right here. Oh stage." Martin:"Good." disaperes rings Dewface:"Ah! finally wot wot!" presses speaker button Dewface:"Hello?" Gonff:"Oh 'elo matey! I've got a question for you." Dewface:"sure, go ahead!" Gonff:"This question is for Thornclaw." Thornclaw:"I'm here mate." Gonff:"Ok, howd you get the idia of a good stoat?" Skalarana:"Hey! I'm a good rat!" Gonff:"Fine fine! Same question for you too." Thornclaw:"Oh, I dident want to be bad like other stoats, I want to help those poor woodlanders that get attacked by the bad ones." Skalarana:"I just dident like the idia of being recklass and evil." Gonff:"Oh, cool. Just was wondering." Thornclaw:"Anytime mate!" Gonff:"Ok, bye guys!" Dewface:"He was nice." Skalarana:"Yep, yep." rings Gabool:"I'll get it!" picks presses speaker button Gabool:"'Elo?" HordeRat:"Hey. I need someone to hire me. I heard you were on the air." Gabool:"Sure, I got room. Swing by 333, Darkforest ave, Darkforest. Sunday ok?" HordeRat:"Sure, just lemme wright that down..." silent HordeRat:"Ok, got it. see ya!" Gabool:"Ok, bye." hangs up phone Dewface:"Well, time for a brake." Is your horde puny? Luckily, We've got Rentarat. Thats right. Only $10.00 a week for 100 rats!! We've got the lowest prices around! Get cupons at your local Rentarat. Call 1-800-RENTARAT. thats 1-800-RENTARAT. Call today!! Dewface:"Ok! were back!! woo hoo!! Keenear the brave:"yeah, could somebeast call me?!?!?" Abom:"be quiet." Keenear the brave:"And why do i have to take orders from you?" Abom:"Excuse me?" draws wepon Keenear the brave:"yes? thank you for using your manners" also draws wepon stands Thornclaw:"Hey hey! quit it!" dose a fake gasp Thornclaw:"I'ts Martin!!!" ducks under the table Thornclaw:"Ha ha!! tricked 'ya!!" starts laughing Keenear the brave:"you, you!!" Martin:"He dident' trick you." turns around to look at Martin Keenear:"oops, heh heh! sorry!" Martin:"You better watch your manners on a talk radio. Otherwise..." draws sword and tappes it against his paw Martin:"Oh, and also, Thorn, don't trick anybeast, its not nice" Thornclaw:"Sure, anytime." vanishes rings Dewface:"I'll get it!" picks up phone Martha Braebuck:"Hey guys!" Everyone:"Hey Martha!" Martha:"I need an answer to a question." Gabool:"Sure, anything!" Martha:"This one is for all of you." Keenear:"Me? Yay yay yay yay yay yay!!!" Martha:"Ooookay." Skalarana:"Just get on with it!" Martha:"ok, here goes! Whats it like being on a rado show? I've never been on one." Keenear:"Oh i'ts relly fun! You get to have people asking questions, calling you, and guss what? YOu also get to be on the mossflower magazene!" Martha:"Yeah, Ive seen it, I have a subscription." Skalarana:"Its also fun to just sit here, talking! I like it." Gabool:"I like the frut punch and the doughnuts." Abom:"Hey, maby you could be on the show sometime!" Thornclaw:"Yeah!" Dewface:"Looks like were all out of time, I relly gotta pack it up!" Martha:"Ok, thanks, bye!" hangs up Dewface:"Time to go! Thank you all, wot!" Applause walks off stage Three Hello! I shall now introduce our gust stars and stars!!: Ralon Deathbringer, Bartholomew Billberry Bowstring (BBB), Martin the worrior, and Mariel Gullwhacker!!! Applause walks in Dewface:"Come on in everybeast! Please, walk in through the meadel detecter, I want no wepons in this radio room." Ralon:"Oh yeah?" BBB:"come on old lad! be respectabbible!" Ralon:"Aw shucks! fine!! detecter beeps takes off all weapons walks through the meadle detecter, meadle detecter beeps, BBB takes off all wepons Martin:"Nice meadle detecter Dewface." Dewface:"Aw! thankyou! Martin, I thinks i's be best to keep your sword on you." Martin:"ok." walks throught meadle detecter and meadle detecter dose not beep smiles cheekeliy Maril:"Nothing on me! Ha ha!" scowls Dewface:"Hmph." faids Dewface:"Ok! Lets get started! We are now accepting calls!" rings picks up phone pushes speaker button BBB:"Hello?" Vilaya:"I demand to know why I wasent invited!!!!" Dewface:"'cuz I bally well don't like you Wot!" Vilaya:"I am a quean!! I command you! My RENTARAT hord will come for you!!" Dewface:"You listen to mossflower radio?" Vilaya:"Yess! You still havent answerd me!!" Dewface:"Uhh, well.. 'cuz I bally well say so!!" Meriel:"Well, that wasent very polite." Vilaya:"Good bye!" hangs up Ralon:"Well, *yawns* this is getting boring. I mids well leave." gets up from chair Meriel:"Hey! sit down!" Ralon:"I can do what I want!" pulles out her Gullwhacker BBB:"Hey! Dewface told you to flam'n disarm yourselfs! That includes you!" Martin:"Stop!! Dewface! I think Its time for a comertail break!!" ducks Gullwhacker and shouts over hubbub Dewface:"I think your right! Comertail break!!" Update list *Skal *Holly *Thorn Category:Blog posts